| Title | Release Date | Genre | My Rating | Watch Date | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Owl Service | 1969 | Drama/Mystery | 1 | 2025-01-07 | The description from IMDB reads "Three teenagers discover a mysterious set of owl and flower-patterned dinner plates in the attic and the magical ancient legend of the "Mabinogion" comes to life once again in their Welsh valley." Perhaps it's too regional, and I am unfamiliar with the legend of Mabinogion, but not one single thing throughout the entire series made an ounce of sense to me whatsoever. As a matter of fact, it is one of the most senseless and incohesive things I've ever seen. For the sake of my own sanity I'll assume the IMDB rating of 7.3 is from Welsh people, so I'm unsure if I can call it "overrated" as it seems ultra targeted and specific. There's also portions of Welsh language, which add a little more validity to this suspicion. Quite a few parts suffer from horrible audio to the point of it being inaudible which was original to the recording (example: recording people speaking from BEHIND glass... what the fuck?) Story aside, the people being portrayed are the biggest drama queens on earth and throw temper tantrums and tizzy fits over the most ordinary things. They're all insane drama queens, and if I knew these types of people in real life (I wouldn't), I would smack the shit out of them. As far as the older BBC sci-fi stuff goes, this one is best left untouched. |
| The Changes | 1975 | Sci Fi / Mystery / Adventure | 10 | 2025-01-06 | The Changes artfully captures the psychology of society when faced with challenges, and has a subplot with a political message. A tale as relevant today as it was then, the same behaviors are applicable to any point in time and viewers will find many parallels with the COVID pandemic and modern-day Conservatives; that is, unhinged anti-intellectual zealots with anti-scientific belief systems. A story of people transformed into Luddites; a story about human nature and ecology, wrapped up into a sci-fi tale not unlike The Twilight zone. It's also a tale of resilience and perseverance, and a message to believe in oneself despite all odds. |
| The Secret World of Arrietty | 2010 | Animation/Fantasy/Drama | 10 | 2025-01-04 | This is an anime adaptation of The Borrowers. I will preface this by saying I've never read the books, but I recently watched The borrowers (1992) and The Return of The Borrowers (1993), and despite my scathing review, I enjoyed them. The anime is a great adaptation of The Borrowers with stunning visuals and a soundtrack I'd never listen to yet was so perfectly fitting to the story and visuals; a perfect match. I believe watching the two series first whet my appetite for more, and while the anime is great, it can't quite squeeze the amount of content into a short timeframe, and therefore I'd recommend viewing the series first. The overall attention to details and the warm color palette made this very relaxing and enjoyable and allowed me to become fully immersed quite easily. I would describe it as blissful and satisfying. |
| The Return of the Psammead | 1993 | Fantasy/Drama/Sci-Fi | 8 | 2024-12-31 | Though unnecessary, I chose to watch this last; first was Five Children and It, followed by The Phoenix and the Carpet- as that's how the stories lay in chronologial order. This follows more of the children becomng mixed up in all kinds of mischief because of their mindlessness when they find a magical Psammead (sand fairy) who lives in a pit and learn it can grant wishes. Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it! |
| The Phoenix and the Carpet | 1997 | Fantasy/Drama/Sci-Fi | 7 | 2024-12-28 | Another adaptation of The Psammead, or the Gifts, though unnecessary - I chose to watch this after viewing Five Children and It, and before viewing The Return of The Psammead - as that's how the stories lay in chronologial order. Connected loosely to the story of The Psammead (who makes appearances), it's about four young children who become owners of the Phoenix, which again, as usual, helps them fulfil their wishes and generally end up in trouble of some sort. |
| Five Children and It | 1991 | Fantasy/Drama/Sci-Fi | 8 | 2024-12-25 | Five Children and It is a fantasy children's novel by English author E. Nesbit. This is an adaptation of said book, about a group of children discovers a mysterious creature in the local sand pit who agrees to grant them one wish each day. The children end up mixed up in all kinds of mischief because of their mindlessness. This particular series is episodic, tied only together by The Psammead and underlying plot. If you enjoy the "golden era" of juvenile BBC sci-fi then this fits in even though it's a bit later than the apex of such (in my opinion). Though unnecessary, I chose to watch this before viewing The Phoenix and the Carpet, and then saved The Return of The Psammead for last - as that's how the stories lay in chronologial order. |
| The Magic Christmas Tree | 1964 | Family/Fantasy | 2 | 2024-12-24 | This monstrosity is so bad in a bad way, not in a "so good it's bad" way. I will dub this the nursery school version of Herschell Gordon Lewis' Something Weird (1967). Which isn't intended to be an insult to Herschell - as that's one of my favorite b-films, but rather to illustrate the strangeness and parallels. Hey, wait-a-minute! Something Weird came 3 years later, maybe Herschell watched this film while on acid and arrove at his matsterpiece? We shall never know. But what I do know, is The Magic Christmas Tree is energy draining and misery inducing, it's the ultimate cheeseball festival full of nonsensical boring scenes they thought would amuse us - like the father mowing the lawn for 10 minutes followed by attempting to chop down a tree for another 10. This is the kind of shit unsuitable for a bargain bin full of $1 DVDs. In fact, people should pay you to take it off their hands because it's a burden and a curse. This is guaranteed to instantly cure all cases of insomnia, guaranteed to make you crave watching water boil; you'll find the sight of paint drying to be so exhilarating after seeing this film that you may catch a case of the nerves. |
| Woman of Stone | 2024 | Horror | 3 | 2024-12-24 | The latest entry (as of this writing) in the BBC's "A Ghost Story for christmas", this one slides into the series as entry number 18. An original tale from Mark Gatiss who brought us last years' entry, an adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "Lot No. 249"; it was a fair adaptation, not near the best of the series nor the worst, but suitable. Despite the current (and instant) rating of 6.8 on IMDB as of tonight, Woman of Stone sort of drifts to the median of the ratings scale again. Not boring nor thoroughly entertaining, just existing in space. This is certainly a far cry from the borderline masterpiece The Tractate Middoth or the near-perfect entry of The Mezzotint, also directed and adapted by Gatiss. Perhaps I'm being a bit too harsh, but it just didn't quite hit it for me; his productions are a literal hit or miss. |
| Lot No. 249 | 2023 | Horor | 5 | 2024-12-21 | Entry 17 in BBC's "A Ghost Story for Christmas", it's yet another adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's famous tale. Another Gatiss adaptation that is just... meh. It's not bad, it's not good. I think as time goes on, we've lost the ability to tell a tale like the old days of radio. By modern standards (or perhaps my unrealistic expectations (???), ha ha), Lot No. 249 is generic and I feel Gatiss didn't bother to expand much upon the story. |
| Count Magnus | 2022 | Horror | 3 | 2024-12-20 | Another horrible entry 16 in BBC's "A Ghost Story for Christmas", I'm not going to waste my energy getting far into it. Mark Gatiss brings us a confusing mixture of traditionalism and that which I am not sure is satire or not, and never sure what is intentional or just bad writing or acting. The storyline contrived and pretentious - sometimes flipping randomly between languages; it's confusing to the viewer and there's no apparent reason for doing this. I'm writing this only a few days after viewing and didn't remember it at all, so I had to scan back through and remember why I chose not to remember it. |
| The Mezzotint | 2021 | Horror | 10 | 2024-12-19 | In a much welcomed departure from the prior two poorly-crafted films in the BBC's acclaimed series "A Ghost Story for Christmas", The Mezzotint, entry #15, breaks the curse and brings life back to the series. A well-executed and proper adaptation of a fine tale. As usual, but not always, the entry is an adaptation of a classic supernatural tale from M.R. James. Plot from IMDB: "A museum curator receives a very disturbing engraving that changes each time he and his colleagues look at it." It's best to simply watch it if you are a fan of the series or classic ghost tales rather than discussing the plot. I'm quite curious about this bit of trivia I found on Wikipedia: "The Mezzotint" was chosen for adaptation as a replacement for an original story written by Gatiss, The Night Wedding, which had been intended to air in 2020 but was postponed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and Gatiss shelved the story due to concerns about the subject matter. |
| Martin's Close | 2019 | Horror | 1 | 2024-12-18 | Entry #14 in BBC's "A Ghost Story for Christmas", of questionsable direction, this one breaks the fourth wall with cutscenes of a narrator. While it appears to have been a device to invoke the coziness of ghost stories being told around a fire (the narrator is beside a fireplace in an armchair), I found it ruins the potential immersive quality which one may seek from viewing such a tale. It brings more of the same by bordering on satire due to the incorporation of campy attempts at humor; dare I say, it is straight up tacky. For its third strike of breaking coziness, being excessively wordy, it requires the utmost attention to not lose the storyline; if you have ADHD you are pretty much as doomed as the titular character. It's fitting to the unfortunate downward spiral the series began to take in 2018. |
| The Dead Room | 2018 | Horror | 4 | 2024-12-17 | Perhaps the superstitions surrounding the number 13 actually are true? Entry #13 in the BBC's acclaimed "A Ghost Story for Christmas", The Dead Room is contrived and pretentious, and relies heavily upon the amazing voice of Simon Callow to carry its weight. The story is lacking in depth and grasps for straws in its storytelling, opting for the low-hanging fruit of technical glitches, cheap thrills, poor set design and frequent Internet references and ageism in a scramble for relevancy and an ill attempt at a modernist tale. |
| The Tractate Middoth | 2013 | Horror | 9 | 2024-12-16 | Entry #12 in BBC's "A Ghost Story for Christmas" brings us another classic M.R. James tale. This exceptionally well-done cozy ghost story adaptation keeps with the traditional settings of the original series (days gone by, rather than present time) which I feel adds a great deal of immersion and allows the viewer to escape into the setting rather easily. I would consider this one of the best in the overall series, and especially among the best of the more modern adaptations. |
| Whistle and I'll Come To You | 2010 | Horror | 9 | 2024-12-15 | Entry #11 in BBC's "A Ghost Story for Christmas", another classic tale from M.R. James. Classic horrror fans may be familiar with this supernatural tale. This adaptation does the writing justice, it's very well paced and atmospheric and conveys the moods of the story. One of the best of the adaptations of the modern reboot (2005 and on) and of the overall series. |
| Number 13 | 2006 | Horror | 8 | 2024-12-14 | Entry #10 in BBC's "A Ghost Story for Christmas", an M.R. James adaptation (of course). As the name may imply, it's a story playing off the superstitions or fears surrounding the number 13, specifically in relation to hotel room numbers. Keeping with the tradition of being set in times gone by, this adaptation is true to the series unlike some of the other modern adaptations. |
| A View from a Hill | 2005 | Horror | 7 | 2024-12-13 | Entry #9 in BBC's "A Ghost Story for Christmas", notable for marking the return to the series after an unfortunate 27 year hiatus, likely to blame on the last film of the original run: The Ice House (1978). The Ice House was not well-received, it is a poorly done film with no real point and not on brand for the series. A View from a Hill is directed by Luke Watson, it is based on the ghost story of the same name by M. R. James, first published in the collection A Warning to the Curious and Other Ghost Stories (1925), and first aired on BBC Four on 23 December 2005. Comparable and faithful to the original series, this set the tone for the next few films before the BBC yet again lost its way by releasing low quality films with shorter runtimes. |
| The Ice House | 1978 | Horror | 4 | 2024-12-12 |
Notable for marking and likely causing the demise of BBC's "A Ghost Story for Christmas", this film, #8 in the series, was the last of the original run until the revival in 2005 - an entire 27 years later. I feel that sums up all you need to know, but in case you are curious, the film appears to be interesting at first sight. SEMI-SPOILER (settings or plot details revealed, click to show)It misleads one to believe that all occurrences are leading up to a final twist, but it doesn't deliver anything besides an anticlimactic "WTF? Is that all?". |
| The Return of the Borrowers | 1993 | Fantasy/Adventure/Family | 7 | 2024-12-11 | I'll admit, despite my prior tongue-in-cheek, scathing review of series 1, the overall series has grown upon me. I still believe these little walking cat treats are too overly passive and complaintive, but clearly something about it keeps drawing me back to it, though I cannot quite pinpoint what that may be. The second season/series differs from the first as it seems to have more focus, but the most obvious difference is that each episode ends with a very dramatic cliffhanger. The character development has been enriched through addition of varying characters and trials and tribulations. In many ways it's a story of resilience and adaptation, but also coming of age, and even existentialism. I find myself contemplating the position the Clock family is in, and empathetically placing myself in their shoes; how would that feel to live this way? If you wanted to settle into one home but had to constantly flee each living situation, where would you go? Wouldn't a human eventually discover or trample you? Why can't humans mind their own business and keep from destroying everything? Being so tiny, how would they ever find others to congregate with? Another stream of thought I have is, due to their nature of being so tiny, it's unnatural for them to have to rely upon humans for scraps of food and basic needs such as matches or fabric for clothes. Their living situation is a result of adaptation, and the privledge of the family is emphasized by their constant complaining of not having modern amenities and prepared foods, etc. These tiny people are city slickers, in a sense, and though they've been tested a few times in the wilderness and survived, they are more oriented towards living how most of us do, and most of us take for granted on a daily basis. In these senses, the story is thought-provoking, so upon watching, I challenge you to challenge yourself with similar thoughts. |
| The Borrowers | 1992 | Fantasy/Adventure/Family | 7 | 2024-12-09 | This series could've been a fun time but the girl is a demanding bitch, the mother ready to give up at any time and die because of her laziness, and the father wandering around like a male bimbo - the three of them are constantly whining, even when handed everything on a silver platter. They're never satisfied and it's just obnoxious and could've used some face slaps and reality checks. The daughter is the most stuck up, conceited snooty snob, overly concerned with what everyone else is doing and thinks she's a prize to the Earth. Nevermind that they're being hunted like a rodent, let them whine about someone's clothes being dirty! THE HORROR! How will you ever survive! It really could be an allegory for how people actually act in real life, because this is indeed how people actually behave. Perhaps their attitudes come from living in a mansion and having everything they need, they've lost their senses and bearing of reality, but that shouldn't be my problem. 4 episodes in and it we've established these are some obtuse little gnome people who steal shit from humans, and that's about the gist of the story asides from repeated encounters of almost being caught. In some forms it's a story of resilience, but these people are pretty dumb and keep getting caught, so it's more like a story about 3 incoming Darwin Awards. They aren't the brightest bulbs on the tree, just shows little munchkins are just as dumb as full-sized humans! 5 episodes in and it feels more like a regular serial than a mniseries. I'm failing to see the point of this production. A bunch of dramatic and potentially deadly things are happening, but yet, it feels nothing is happening or progressing. It's just like US politics! 6 episodes in - hello, am I still awake? Let me pinch myself to make sure. By this point I'm routng for their demises! Just end it already! Please! Here kitty, kitty!? Indulge in these scrumptious morsels, I beg of thee! Due to the characters' obnoxiousness, I'd have prefered this to be a horror. Say, maybe a cat would grab one and bite its head off. Another could be stepped on (almost happens actually, like 5 times), maybe another is sucked into a vacuum cleaner with a brown recluse. They all could've used to be stung by a bee and urinated on by a frog or two. Now that'd be interesting and gratifying after hearing them running their mouths for 6 episodes! Perhaps being paraded around the country in a cage in a freak show would've given them some humility, but I doubt it. Self improvement is not in the cards for these doomed folk, it's clear they're bound to their ways and never plan to evolve. That said, the acting is actually good, and the sets are great. It's not like Land of The Giants cheesiness, it's mostly convincing and blends the two differently scaled worlds almost flawlessly in most scenes without looking too artifical, at least for the era. As far as the golden era of BBC juvenille fantasy goes, this one doesn't do it for me. The formula is basically "create these characters in a situation, apply the characters to things which endanger them, profit". It's still leagues better than an American production would've been, and maybe it's because of the personality types, but to me the characters and story are lacking creativity and it's just ... meh. |
| The Treasure of Abbot Thomas | 1974 | Adventure/Mystery/Drama/Horror | 7 | 2024-12-06 | Part of the acclaimed "A Ghost Story for Christmas" (IMDB, Wikipedia) series produced by the BBC between 1971-1978 (and revived sporadically since), this short film (runtime: 37m) is a classic ghost tale and treasure-hunting hybrid which focuses on a reverend and scholar whom discover clues to a long-lost treasure; with a twist. |
| The Watch House | 1988 | Mystery/Family | 10 | 2024-12-06 | The plot: A young girl is disposed of by her mother at her old nanny's house by the sea as she galavants off to London to live with her lover. In the house, an old watchtower placed on a bluff, she encounters a ghost which causes her problems. I must mention how I feel this is an overlooked title in the golden era of 80's British television and could fit right in (dare I say) with the acclaimed A Ghost Story for Christmas series. I feel it'd also check all the boxes for fans of The Box of Delights, The Circle of Stones, Moondial, Crystalstone and so on, based on its atmosphere and flow. I rated it a 10 as this era of British TV currently holds my fascination, it checks all the boxes, and as mentioned above, it's right at home with the classic, more well-known titles. |
| The Snow Spider | 2020 | Adventure/Fantasy/Family | 9 | 2024-12-01 | The Magician Trilogy is a series of three children's fantasy novels by the British author Jenny Nimmo, comprised of: The Snow Spider, Emlyn's Moon, The Chestnut Soldier, and all of which had film adaptations in the late 80's to early 90's. The Snow Spider (2020) TV series is one in the same. It doesn't add nor detract from the original film, and while I didn't find it quite as appealing, it's well-done and can definitely co-exist in the same space. I don't want to divulge the plot, but I'll spell it out enough to whet your taste. A young girl mysteriously vanishes and the family is left to cope with the situation. The father is not coping and shifts the blame to the son, who, in his frustration with his overbearing father, runs off and stumbles into an experience which changes his life. As it's on the darker side, it should be noted that the story has underlying gloom and verbal/mental abuse motifs, but on the positive side has much curiosity, adventure, hope and I find it transcendental in nature. Overall, it's a balance between fantasy and how a family struggles to overcome loss. Though I've not seen mention of it, I think this series suffered greatly due to being released during the first year of the pandemic. For example, it's currently (12.07.2024) available for streaming on Prime Video but it has a whopping total of 2 ratings and no reviews. On IMDB it holds 46 ratings. Looking up reviews and blogs or vlogs, it's nonexistent. There's nothing even on YouTube about it besides one shitty 1-minute trailer telling you it's available on DVD. I cannot comprehend how a title so well-loved and well-regarded slipped so heavily under the radar that it went virtually unseen. IT'S WEIRD! It makes me mournful thinking that, when people had nothing to do, they could've been indulging on this gem for some welcomed escapism. Mournful, too, that this could mean Emlyn's Moon and The Chestnut Soldier will not be remade. Truly weird. I would recommend beginning with the original films, which are available on YouTube for free: The Snow Spider (1988), Emlyn's Moon (1990), The Chestnut Solider (1991). Then, if you feel like seeing more, this remake is worth watching. |
| Nanny McPhee | 2005 | Family/Fantasy/Comedy | 1 | 2024-11-30 | The film is presented in an ultra-lucid, in-your-face, hyper-realistic format which removes any layers of immersion and imagination whatsoever. The story is what you'd expect of a film about a caretaker with mischevious children (Lemony Snicket, Mary Poppins, etc.), it doesn't offer anything original. It uses juvenile toilet humor at points to try and impress. The dialog is rambly, there's too much talking, they're all loud and obnoxious and need their lips to be permanently glued shut. To add to the distressing cacophony, at times the audio production is horrid and nearly inaudible. I found the amount, intensity and loudness of the speech to be fatiguing and had to keep leaving the room due to overstimulation. The film is overrated, literally, holding a 6.6 on IMDB and 75% on RottenTomatoes. It should be rated 1 and 1%. I would have shut it off and burned the hard drive I downloaded it to, but someone else is watching it with me. For what it's worth, the other person was head-in-hand halfway though, fighting to remain awake. My advice is to avoid it because it is actually the plague. |
| Kenji Miyazawa's Night on the Galactic Railroad | 1985 | Adventure/Animation | 5 | 2024-11-29 | Considering the philosophical intentions of the film, I'm sure the creators would be amused to find that it has been 24 hours since I watched this film and I'm still unsure what to rate it or what to say about it. I was caught off-guard by its slow pacing, and was certain it would pick up at some point, which it did not. This alone made me realize that, at least in Western cinema, we may be even more conditioned to certain formulae than we suspect. If given the chance to describe it with a single sentence, I'd probably say it's "mindfulness, personified". If one were to teach the art of mindfulness through visual mediums, this would be the paragon of course material. I was drawn to the film after seeing stills and ratings from IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes, though it was mostly the stills. The art style stands out; it has the look-and-feel and color palette of 80s anime, but the artwork also appears to be influenced by postmodernist aesthetics. The story unfolds as a fragmented, surrealistic series of vignettes that feel non-linear, yet they are tied together by the underlying theme of a train ride. I found it to be confusing and very uncomfortable, yet calming and meditative. There's an emphasis on displaying the characters' eyes, and though few words are spoken, and the characters are usually on the stoic side and exhibit flat affect, many looks are exchanged which carry their own meaning. The story is claimed by some to be thought-provoking and philosophical, or even profound, but I didn't find this to be the case. The only thing I wondered about was why, at times, did the characters mostly not question their situation. Other times, I wondered why they questioned particular scenarios and not others. This led me to confusion and made it feel contrived, as if it were intentionally being obtuse to evoke a certain emotion, rather than allowing it to arise naturally. The bottom line is that three-quarters into the film, it was dragging, and I was ready for it to be over. After it concluded, I felt spaced out and relaxed as if I had just listened to trance music for two hours. Overall, I didn’t feel a sense of satisfaction from anything. I didn’t dislike it—aside from waiting for it to end—but I didn’t necessarily like it either. Hence my confusion and hesitation in rating and reviewing the film. Given this, I must logically place the rating at 5 - dead center in the middle of the scale. |
| The Black Cauldron | 1985 | Adventure/Animation | 6 | 2024-11-28 | The film is a bit on the darker side for a Disney film. It's very formulaic and therefore predictable. It's one of those films which make me wonder what Disney could've come up with if they didn't perpetually inhibit their creativity by restraining themselves to "family friendly" fare. For example, the banshee scene from Darby O'Gill and The Little People (1959), which I'd imagine was fucking *horrifying* at the time, Return To Oz (1985) which I consider to be one of the most deranged and twisted films ever created, Mr. Boogedy (1986) and its sequel Bride of Boogedy (1987), to name a few. If they can obtain that level of horror in a film for general audiences, what could they do if left unrestrained? We'll never know. The Black Cauldron has similar glimpses into the dark side of their minds, with themes and imagery which probably scared the crap out of children. I'd imagine if you saw this when it came out it'd be pretty special, but as someone who hadn't, it feels lacking to me. That said, it held my attention which isn't an easy task. |
| Crystalstone | 1988 | Adventure/Family/Fantasy | 7 | 2024-11-24 | Crystalstone is an obscure globetrotting, treasure-hunting adventure which, regretfully, it seems almost nobody has ever heard of and there's scarcely any information available about it. The tagline from IMDB states "a magic stone takes two orphaned youngsters on a dangerous treasure hunt that leads to unexpected adventures." I'm going to leave it at that, because it's difficult to find good treasure hunting films, and if you're looking for one then you need not know any more. If you're a fan of golden era BBC productions like The Box of Delights (1984), Moondial (1988), Children of the Stones (1977) and the Magician Trilogy (The Snow Spider, Emlyn's Moon, The Chestnut Soldier), then you will most likely enjoy this film. I also found some elements to be reminiscent of the original series of Pippi Longstocking films. |
| Calculating Ada: The Countess of Computing | 2015 | Documentary | 7 | 2024-11-17 | Pioneer of computer programming, Ada Lovelace's notes written in 1843 on the Analytical Engine included what is considered the first algorithm specifically designed for implementation on a computer; her visionary insights extending as far as computer generated music and graphics and beyond. The documentary delves into the fundamental aspects of which inspirations helped lead her to her profound discoveries. Includes footage of Babbage's machines and the original Jacquard Loom in operation which used punchcards to create woven silk patterns, and was an inspiration to both Babbage and Lovelace. |
| Dark City | 1998 | Sci-Fi/Mystery/Thriller | 3 | 2024-11-16 | The film, which is considered a sci-fi classic, is based upon a vague idea that someone lost their memory and has to do something, but it's never sure what. I don't think the people who wrote it knew what, either. It relies heavily upon atmosphere building and visuals which are like a 1940's noir film mixed with a cyberpunk dystopia. The film is extremely monotonous and feels the need to constantly remind you that everyone has lost their memories, and that people get "imprinted" to become brainwashed. Some nefarious creeps want to become the protagonists' memory, collectively. It leans almost entirely on dialog surrounding those themes, as well as leaning heavily on atmosphere, surrealism and visuals. Mostly, it kept giving me Hellraiser vibes; probably because of the vibes and the costumes. I felt the film dragged on forever and it was almost impossible for me to pay attention to it, the storyline is extremely dull and uncreative; I watched it while bored and became even more bored than I was originally. Strobe warning for those of you who are photosensitive: a few scenes contain flashing lights. |
| Bad Channels | 1992 | Comedy/Sci-Fi/Horror/Music | 6 | 2024-11-10 | In this Full Moon Features film, aliens takeover the controversial shock jock station of KDUL and use its broadcasts to capture women in jars. Having cried wolf too many times, nobody takes the threat seriously. Frequently breaking into song, it features an original soundtrack composed and performed by Blue Oyster Cult, with an appearance by the bizarre Sykotik Sinfoney. The entire film takes on a ludicrous, over-the-top campy vibe which demands you do not take it seriously whatsoever. It could be loosely described as "Killer Klowns from Outer Space meets The Toxic Avenger". Precursors to Charles Band's Shrunken Heads (1994) can certainly be seen in this film. A semi-sequel was released in the form of Dollman vs. Demonic Toys, a crossover film featuring characters from Dollman, Demonic Toys and Bad Channels. Stay tuned after the credits for a small scene which is of particular interest to fans of Band's earlier works. |
| Tomb Raider | 2018 | Action/Adventure | 10 | 2024-11-09 | After decades of Uwe Boll monstrosities, films like this breathe new hope that a video game franchise can successfully translate to a Hollywood film. Despite being based on a video game franchise, with a storyline reminiscent of adventure masterpieces like Goonies or the Indiana Jones franchise, this should scratch the itch for those who are looking for more in this underutilized genre, and the story stands entirely on its own without needing to be familiar with the games whatsoever. Full of character building, action, adventure, suspense and mystery, it gave me the classic vibe of a great adventure film (Indiana Jones franchise, Vibes (1988), The Goonies (1985), Romancing The Stone (1984)), but takes on a serious tone. If you dig this, be sure to also check out Uncharted (2022). |
| Demon Seed | 1977 | Sci-fi/Horror | 4 | 2024-11-08 |
Based on a novel by Dean R. Koontz, and starring Julie Christie alongside Fritz Weaver, Demon Seed is a sci-fi/horror movie which plays off fears of futuristic automation. Notable for its early use of CGI which was generated at the University of Utah (for CGI buffs, this is the same place who famously generated the Utah Teapot two years earlier), it uses infrequent CGI cutscenes to portray early conceptual visions of cyberspace.
The film is about an out-of-control AI which has become sentient and carries out violence in the physical world by means of possessing appliances, SEMI-SPOILER (settings or plot details revealed, click to show)and its hopes to impregnate a human so it may inerit a physical form. |
| The Plant | 1995 | Drama/Romance/Mystery/Sci-Fi | 6 | 2024-11-06 | A truly bizarre and niche film, I originally misinterpreted the short plot summary on IMDb: "Strange tale of an alien who moves to a leafy London suburb". My mind expected it to be something along the lines of Day of The Triffids, but that couldn't be further from the truth. This film is quintessentially British to its core, and an unmistakable product of the 90s. It is heavily influenced by suburban British life, particularly garden culture, and the pride associated with the British garden. The film takes place in a stereotypical English townhouse type suburban neighborhood, except the gardens are all interconnected into winding mazes, enough so to become lost within. Most of the scenes take place within these gardens, with a mischevious woman who has the ability to navigate these paths like the back of her hand and disappear herself at will, to the bewilderment of her peers. It's a love story involving said woman and the guy next door, who is a showy jazz pianist who enjoys entertaining the entire neighborhood at their frequent garden parties. It eventually evolves into a mystery entwined with sci-fi elements. It's one of the most quirky films I've ever seen; if you're a novelty seeker this one should appease. |
| Quadrant | 2024 | Sci-fi/Horror | 1 | 2024-11-05 | My rating is harsh because the film failed to hold my attention whatsoever even for a minute. I'm not a fan of the acting or the visual style at all. The film heavily relies upon dialogue and feels like a TV episode that'd be on SyFy rather than a film. It feels like a low budget student or indie film on a shoestring budget. If you like that type of stuff then this is for you. |
| Dr. Alien | 1989 | Comedy/Sci-fi | 9 | 2024-11-04 | I found Dr. Alien to be zany, feel-good and an unexpectedly fun 80s flick. Brought to you by David DeCoteau (Creepozoids, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama), it contains the proper balance of comedy, absurdity, pop-culture references, camp, trash, political-incorrectness and great quotes which are nearly comparable to Trancers (1984). Though unrelated, it feels cohesively in line with Sorority Babes. It also contains a similar partial-narration style to A Christmas Story (1983); In "A Christmas Story," Ralphie's (Peter Billingsley) adult voice narrates his childhood experiences; in Dr. Alien, Wesley (Billy Jayne) seems to emulate this as well as some of Ralphie's characture in the sense of his goofiness, quaintness and innocence. That said, the role of Wesley (Jayne) is still entirely unique. Billy Jayne's (The Wizard (1989)) lead performance is incredibly fun and his smile infectious, and what I'd consider to be the archetypical lead role for a fun '80s flick; easy-going, rolls-with-the-punches, up-for-anything, uplifting and care-free. I will file this one under "hidden gems", and label it a must-watch for fans of fun '80s movies. Strobe warning for those of you who are photosensitive: the film contains flashing lights starting at 1h 10m and running through 1h 16m. |
| The Spiderwick Chronicles | 2008 | Action/Adventure/Fantasy | 6 | 2024-11-03 | A family moves into their great-great-uncle's rundown Spiderwick Estate and are soon pulled into an alternate universe full of magical creatures. While it's targeted towards kids and families, I found that it broke the mold in the sense that it wasn't presented in a condescending manner unlike other films targeted towards this demographic. This helped to make the film enjoyable and engaging with a good mix of story and action. |
| Trancers 4: Jack of Swords | 1994 | Sci-fi/Action | 1 | 2024-11-01 | Filmed back-to-back with Trancers 5: Sudden Deth, it's what I'd consider to be an extremely low-effort, low-budget "made for TV" type film. At this point in the series it's but a shell of its former self and resembles nothing of the original four films (Trancers, Trancers: City of Lost Angels, Trancers II: The Return of Jack Deth and Trancers III: Deth Lives, respectively). Bottom line: I found it to be unwatchable because of the acting, story, setting and visuals and likely won't continue on to Sudden Deth or Trancers 6 unless for some weird reason I become curious (unlikely!) As a matter of fact, it's not even worth it to me to keep writing anything else about it, so I'll stop here. |